Facebook Fantasy: What You Read is Not What is Happening!

Spending too much time on Facebook, reading posts and looking at pictures, can make you insecure and annoyed.  And envious.

How can she be that happy? Oh, look after 25 years together they are still glowing.  What happened to me? Why aren’t I as happy as they are?

They just remodeled their home; I see all of what they did picture by 100 pictures, and it looks amazing.  My house is old and the paint is covered with my daughter’s pen marks.  What happened to me? 

I am heating up frozen pizza and she is taking pictures of all the hand cooked meals she creates every night. 

I barely have enough money to buy groceries; she takes her kids to every concert that comes this way.  I have 2 screaming kids who cry and throw tantrums while he is going to Disney World every year and his family is spectacular.

Smiles every where, second homes on the coast of Maine, pretty couples that love each other and kids who don’t cry.

How do you know? Because you see it updated every second on Facebook, picture after picture with quotes such as, ”He is the best baby in the world, no crying and sleeps through the night!”  Your baby didn’t do that and you were the one crying every night.

“Couple time with the love of my life.” You don’t have couple time; he left you 5 years ago.

“Cooking this dinner tonight, it is amazing.” You barely made mac and cheese and your dog is currently eating it.

What are these feelings of insecurity and sadness you are feeling? Do you think, “Why is everyone else’s life exciting and passionate and mine is not? What am I doing wrong that I am not creating fabulous memories every moment of the day?”

Do not be fooled by what I call ‘the Facebook Fantasy.’ The statuses that show how everything is perfect and wonderful in life. I don’t believe any of it.  Am I just jaded or could there really be an absent of truth behind some of these so called “I have an amazing life” FB posts?

The truth is life is messy. It can be fun and wonderful one day, then painful and exhausting another. And what appears to be fantastic may really be hiding the awful reality that…

They have a spectacular vacation home, but what you don’t see is that he works 80 hours a week so he can afford it.  You don’t hear her yell at him that he is never around, and she goes to bed every night lonely.  What you see is an appearance of a perfect family smiling as they board their boat.

The dinners are created because that is the one thing she is good at and doesn’t have children to interrupt her and hurry her as she spends hours on Pinterest searching for recipes.

These pictures you see of perfect couple time, the sweet anniversary wishes and bouquet of roses, truth is she thinks he’s having an affair. They don’t even talk to one another; they are roommates in the same home, wanting everyone to think they are living a love story, but posting pictures on FB makes you think they are happy.  You did think that right?

The perfect baby is smiling and happy, but you don’t see the ragged mom wearing sweat pants again and hasn’t showered in days.

So don’t compare yourself!  Don’t feel bad about your life. You, the one who fights the good fight in family life and in your own world.  You are tired, annoyed, eating chocolate at midnight, not making enough money for a second home, but enough for a good home.  Your kids are happy, not because they go to Disney every year but because you have a great back yard and they play and are happy well adjusted. Maybe they are not gifted in piano or win cheerleading competitions, but who cares?  You and your husband love each other, not because you vacation in the Caribbean every year and are covered in diamonds, but because your fairy tale is still alive and rooted in real life, where arguments, laughter and fun all have their place. Take out, left overs and vacations at the local arcade are for the every day woman- the one whose house is not spotless, kids drawings cover the walls, cat hair covers the sofa and dinner is pasta and jarred sauce.

Don’t envy what is not real.  Enjoy the pictures and rants on social media and move on. Remember that real life has a balance of fun, pain, luck and hard work. Be grateful for what you have, and strive to create the best life you can for you.

You know the real story. Yours is the real story. Be proud of you.

 

 

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